Thoughts about myself.

My synapse tells my body to move, my heart to beat, my lungs to ungulate. What part of my cortex defines my desire to live. Not to survive and be reactionary. Monkeys are defensive and primally motivated. I am a being that calls for vitality, as a grey robin flutters to Sleeping Beauty. I desire wisdom and the ability to walk above my flesh. Winds shift out of phase. Storm fronts are fickle. I am a monsoon.

Invest? Seriously? 1 of 4

This is the first part in a 4 part series discussion on investing.

Now you might be saying "Matt are you kidding me? Invest? Have you seen what is out there? Have you not heard about the current economic CRISIS that is out there?" Yes I have. I know what exactly is going on, and this is the best time to start investing.

Investing is one of the most lucrative activities that you could do. Wealth starts when you start realizing that you don't need to work for money. "But Matt, I don't have money to invest". That's okay, do you realize that you can invest with other peoples money and make money yourself? I do it everyday.

Now I know that I am speaking in generalities, and I will be getting more specific later on. Right now we must understand that if you want to be an investor, or a more successful investor, we must understand timing is perfect!

How God must see us sometimes

I saw this video and it made me stop and think on how insignificant I am. This is done by a camera trick that makes everything look like a miniature.


Comme un lego from des choses on Vimeo.

Beautiful Imagery

I heard a phrase today that I thought was just too exquisit. It was in reference to a fighter/bomber plane, the Eurofighter Typhoon. A very impressive aircraft that has one major paradox. It should not be able to fly. The wing span is so short that it does not have the proper lift to keep it in flight, consiquently making the manuverability of the jet very sharp. A human pilot can not fly it by himself. He is assisted by computers that use the wings on the nose and thrust of the jet to keep it aloft.

When the pilot who was testing this speacial machine was asked how it performs, his response was "It asscends like a homesick angel", like a homesick angel. To me that was utter poetry spoken by a man who has come so close to touching the face of God himself.

Makes me wonder how homesick I am, and what I can do to bring a little home here.

To know pain, to know gain

My current position in writing this, is after viewing "The Passion of the Christ". It being good Friday, I thought that it would be appropriate for me to reflect on the death of Jesus. Actually, I have been doing that all day.

I heard a monologue today about the betrayal, trial, and Crucifixion. One that nearly made me cry while I was working. The piece was set to music that I would have never thought would be put to this sacred story, yet if fit so well. The oratory was set in a pattern of peaks and valleys. It brought thoughts of my beloved to my mind.

When the piece was done, the speaker gave his thoughts on the necessity to remember this heart breaking and gut wrenching story. He said in so many words that in our society today, we have become a people who self medicate and kill the pain so that we feel no more. We either indulge in drugs, alcohol, sex, or self pity. I am sure that the entire list of all self indulgences is much longer. We have come to a dangerous point that the ability to cope with pain has escaped us. Instead of turning to healthy means of grieving or turning to someone who can truly help us, we give in to the one thing that cannot under no certain terms save us, ourselves.

All of our pain killing is focused on one thing, and that is to make ourselves feel better as soon as possible. From that though, where do we learn? Where do we gain a better understanding of our position, our purpose? If we fear failure, how do we learn from our mistakes? If everyone gets a trophy in the end, who do we look up to for inspiration?

This causes me to wonder what my medication is, my pain killer. What is your pain killer? What do we turn to when life does not go our way? Do we learn, or do we do our best to keep from feeling. Pain is good. It is not so fun while in the middle of the pain, yet we make changes from pain. Pain is where we learn.

Jesus felt pain. He felt it to the full extent that the weight of all sin would bear upon him. It was not all physical though. All too often when thinking of the crucifixion my mind thinks of the physical trials that Jesus was put under. I believe now though, that the greatest pain was felt in betrayal, denial, hatred, contempt, cursing, spitting, mockery, the list goes on and on. These are all things that were done to his spirit. That cuts deeper than any nail.

Please, remember the next time that you are in a situation where you feel wronged, Jesus felt it too. He saw the pain through to the very end. The good news is, that you can do the same. You can do it, with out pain killers.

Feeling a mystery

You know, lately I have had this sinking feeling, an odd feeling of sorts that just will not let me be. Let me put it this way. Have you ever had the feeling that in a room with many people, that someone was trying to get your attention? As if you are just sitting there in this room, maybe reading a book, or twiddling your thumbs, and you get this feeling that someones eyes are on you, or trying to loudly whisper to you?

You stop from what you are doing and look up, and at first you think you might be going a bit mad. You decide to look around a bit and you glance around the room to your left, nothing there. You then look around to your right, and again no one to the right is trying to get your attention. So you go back to what you are doing. It is at this point you resume your meaningless task and confirm to yourself that a slight bit of insanity has set in, something you should watch while you age. Who knows, dementia might actually be fun for you.

All of a sudden, you get the feeling again. "What is going on?" You say to yourself. This time the feeling is more real and more insistent. You already looked to your left and right and before all you saw were normal faces just doing whatever normal people do in a nondescript location such as this. There is one place that you did not check though, a place that all to often goes unnoticed, behind you. Slowly you turn your head in a cautious fashion, making sure not to draw attention to yourself and also not to strain your neck, so you invite your shoulders to turn with you. You move slightly and adjust your bodily position to garner a view of what or who, is directly behind you.

See at this point you must take stock of your current emotional status. For the past few minutes you have gone on a bit of a roller coaster. First, you felt something. Now whether or not this feeling confirms the presence of an entity, you none the less "felt" something. Eyes that peer at you, or a small voice muddling to you. Maybe you did not feel it with the traditional senses, but you most certainly felt it.

Second, you questioned yourself, doubted yourself. "There is in no way someone is trying to reach me, because I don't know anyone here and I surely haven't reached out to someone recently. How can I even rely on a feeling, some arbitrary emotion that really holds no water? I couldn't even scientifically explain that feeling."

Third, you give in and ask, "What could hurt, a little look around?". Now not much effort went into you looking around, but this is more like searching for evidence in a crime. "Where is the evidence?" you so nobly ask yourself. Peering left and right, you find no such evidence to confirm your suspicions.

Fourth, you confirm your handicap, and relent to the fact that schizophrenia is right around the corner for you. Yet, it will not stop. The feeling won't go away. Someone or something wants to get my attention and they or it will not rest until they have locked their or its gaze upon mine. "This is too strong now, I can't just be imagining it." So one more look wouldn't hurt, would it? In your thinking you believe that you have exhausted the possibilities. Left or right, where else could it be coming from? Ah but wait, there is one more option.

This was a little bit of the feeling that I have had all day long. I can't explain it, because I have been alone most of the day. Now I can say that I have had this feeling before. It has come up, when God is trying to tell me something, but what?

I am a fan of the mystery, the story that cannot be solved until the last ten minutes of the show. I think that God knows this, actually I know he knows this. So do you think God is prompting me? Saying, "Matt, look around, keep on your toes, something is going to reveal itself to you". I think so, maybe this is the time that God wants me to be ultra sensitive to my surroundings. What, though, does he want me to see? And where is my last option to look? That is the mystery.

Loving truth

"Where we find truth, we must claim it"
A phrase that has been hauntingly real to me. You see I have never been a big fan of the ambivalent idea of relative truth. The notion that what is true for you, may not be true for me, sounds well ridiculous. Those who have gravitated to this idea and defend it readily seem to be expressing their own demise to their cause just by arguing the validity of "truth" relativism. I am not really here for that right now though. What I am here for is to express the reality and clarity that truth provides. It is haunting.

For me this goes way beyond spiritual, political, or scientific. Mind you, all of those areas are in need for "truthiness enlightenment" so that one may garner his own ideas of right and wrong. As in the case of science. Lately I have seen way too many reports on what some scientists call "truth" only to discover that there was no real road to discovery of truth. I hope we all learned about the scientific process in our elementary days, because it seems that has been thrown out of the window to gain credit for a theory that might prove to do more harm than good. Or maybe I have become a little too cynical of the scientific community. No longer seeing them in the light of unwavering UN-bias of scientific truth. Or most likely seeing that people may never be able to separate themselves from their agendas to what is actual truth.

In the case of political, truth is already set out for us. Now as an American I see the world through that prism. A land where all men are created equal and are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights. Through the past few months I have come to the conclusion that our founding fathers were absolute and utter geniuses. Although they most likely took their current positions under the crown of England and said "Lets do everything opposite of what they do" and created a system of government that strove to be the best example of fair and just laws. My goodness though, some of the passionate poetry that is written within my countries documents almost makes me befuddled with wonderment. The truth here though, has been found and we only need to keep it. Some wish to twist it to make their agendas known, but that is not truth and it will not stand.

In the case of spiritual, this is where truth relativism feels it oats. To justify the actions of ones self, relativism says that it is okay because there is no ultimate truth when it comes to morality. I don't believe that I have ever heard something so destructive as to what that says. If there is no ultimate moral standard, then I would suggest throwing the whole rule book out. While your at it, chuck civilization along with it. Think about relativism though, doesn't that just make you squirm a bit? In the fiber of our being, there has to be moral compass governing us all, isn't there? I mean it may not even be all christian, because even the Romans had their moral standards. Where it might be okay with everyone for the man of the house to sleep with his wife, servant, and stable boy, it was never tolerated that he sleep with a member of his own family, or another mans wife. When it comes down to it, this whole moral relativism seems to revolve around sex anyway.

Yet the truth that I have found lately that I have claimed is more important than any of these fields. Because without this truth, you have no hope to find truth in other arenas. That truth is in the unashamed, unabashed, full fledged no holds barred selfless requites of love. Love is a truth that we must all accept. Now I know that sounds trite, and some of you are saying that is an easy answer, but, if you wanted to find the meaning of life, a question that is on every ones mind, wouldn't the root of it be in something simple? I mean what essence can bind all of mankind together?

In relationships, love is key. In spirituality, love is key. In politics, love is key. Yes, even in science love is key. That seems to be a recurring theme in life. That if I do not have love in my heart, this life is not worth living. This is what I am discovering in an all new way. Not just the romantic love found in a Hollywood movie. It is in the selfless, you are better than me, love. If we do not have it, than what are we doing all of this for? Recognition passes, fame fades, and riches get spent. I used the word haunting in the beginning to describe how love keeps rearing its head. That is really the best way I know how to put it. You see in all situations where conflict is resolved, or care is given, or real enlightenment bestowed, it has been in the context of love. I warn you not to pass by loves doorstep and not pay it a visit. The world and the people therein seem to open up like a spring flower when ever love is given. Although never use love as a means to and end, it does not work that way. It is a paradox, where if you truly want life to the fullest, then you have to truly love those around you as they are better than you.

There is so much to say on this subject that it is hard for me to put it down. For right now, all I can do is quote a very popular television shows theme that was proudly displayed after the title to suggest the underlying current of all of the shows it produced.

"The truth is out there"

,and it is proving easily found.